“Halo 3″ Cheat Codes, as Explained by a Neglected Girlfriend

by Joey deVilla on December 3, 2007

Angry woman brandishing a rolling pin and “Master Chief” from the “Halo” series of games

Here’s an excerpt from the McSweeneys article titled Halo 3 Cheat Codes, as Explained by Neglected Girlfriend Janet Iverson:

X, A, B, DOWN, RIGHT, Y: God mode. Total invincibility to all attacks. You can just stand there and the aliens can’t kill you. Heck, you could even put the controller down and they still can’t do anything. You could even walk away from the Xbox and—crazy idea—talk to someone who’s been sitting here for the past hour wondering if that was in fact an actual conversation she had earlier about going to the movies this afternoon and not just an incredibly realistic dream. In fact, you could come back to the game three hours later and you’d still have all your health. You could even come back to the game tomorrow — while a certain someone is working a 10-hour shift at Lane Bryant to pay the rent since someone else was recently “downsized” from Golden Swirl for “managerial reasons” that I’m sure were totally unrelated to his habit of napping in the service hallway—and you’d have the whole day all to yourself. Incredibly enough, Master Chief would be in fine, fine shape.

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» Meanwhile, on “Global Nerdy”… » The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century
12.16.07 at 3:37 pm

{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }

1 xarces 12.22.07 at 10:22 am

it does’t work i’ve tryed it about 20 times

2 André 12.28.07 at 10:11 am

THIS CHEAT DOES NOT WORK FFS!!!

3 michael 01.02.08 at 11:35 pm

this totily suck its like no cheats work who agress it is crap not ever the maker wald put cheats is a waist of time ]=

4 jaker 01.03.08 at 9:53 pm

i would really like to actually find a real cheat for halo 3 i have already beaten it 3 time and gout all the skulls but i just want to find a god mode code or ifinante ammo. boom bam

5 jaker 01.03.08 at 9:54 pm

sorry about my last comment it had bad spelling:(

6 jaker 01.03.08 at 10:00 pm

i also beat the game in 2 days it was easy on heroic.

7 jhon 01.03.08 at 10:02 pm

you are all retarded, the real cheat is up,down,up,left,left,a,x,right, left,b,y but you must do this in the main menu. you people are all stupid

8 jhon 01.03.08 at 10:03 pm

oh yeah and you could not have beaten the game in 2 days what do you you think we are stupid?

9 random 01.04.08 at 12:30 pm

jhon do u have to hold any buttons wen u do dat

10 Jamie 01.04.08 at 4:49 pm

jhon: it doesnt work. do u have to hold any buttons

11 sormeki 01.07.08 at 3:03 am

jhon… you can beat the game on heroic in less than 8 hours… considering there is 24 hours in a day and it took him 2 days, thats 48 hours, so, he could have conceivable beaten the game and still worked an entire weeks worth of a full time job provided he didn’t sleep. since i’m fairly certain he slept, granted no way of knowing, but lets figure 8 hours of sleep each night, so, 16 total hours sleep plus 8 hours game play leaves him with a whole days worth of time he could have used for more sleep, more time in game in case it took him longer, and of course eating, in short, jhon, if you can’t beat the game n 2 days, this game is clearly not for you, please do us a favor, take you fake cheats and find a new game

12 j.j. 01.10.08 at 7:54 am

this cheat is so weird and you idiot sormeki your in idiot so shut up jhon is right beach

13 dan 01.19.08 at 10:21 pm

i think u should all grow up im glad there are no working cheats its to stop n00bs like u lot cheating your way thru, grow up and complte the game yourself, if your actually tht crap that you cant may i suggest a game such as guitar hero, altho u would propably want to cheat at that to….. nooooooobs

14 tanner 01.30.08 at 8:58 pm

these cheats don’t even work

15 Snipes013 02.01.08 at 3:43 am

U know a lot of people claim to have used cheat codes and they actualy worked. U nevr no. Maybe it depends where and how

16 Juggernaut 02.09.08 at 6:26 pm

You people are all stupid there are no cheats for halo 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

17 KINGKOBRA XY 02.12.08 at 6:04 pm

I agree the people who have claimed to cheat are retarded lire’s. Like my X friend SRGEANT SRG BVW he said he has a invincable cheat, a scarab gun cheat, and a infinit ammo cheat. YEA THE **** RIGHT!

18 fabian 02.13.08 at 8:50 pm

dude i past the game in legendery in about 6 hours,oh and jhon go f%#&^ your self

19 blackdragon 02.28.08 at 10:51 am

hey the scarab gun is real i got it its only in halo 2 tho and it has halo2 i have the cheet book for all the hacks and everything.
but i didnt start using the book till i beet the game by myself tho.

20 rusty shakleford 03.21.08 at 4:35 pm

dude this ******* cheat dose not work!!!!!!!!!!

21 pinkpanther303 03.23.08 at 7:53 pm

jhon it sounds like your cheat doesnt work.

22 Ben 04.08.08 at 5:43 pm

You are all wrong! Here is how it works if you tried to use the freaking cheats online bungie changes the code so no one ecept them can be invincible. Ok. That is how the game creators and moders beat the system and cream everyone online. They cheat thats how they do it but even the bungie system has a back door as in it has to have a weakness if you modd. They can only ban you but not change the game.

23 Ben 04.09.08 at 9:17 pm

Oh and my previous statement agrees with this if his god mode was active than he could beat the game in that much time. Oh and another thing if you are looking for cheats for halo3 that probably means you are a cheap noob who either sucks at this game or you just are too lazy or some stupid crap that means you suck. So please freaking play the game before you look for cheats.

24 deathhunter861 04.23.08 at 9:14 pm

u all are n00bs in a way cuz theres somthing u havent figured out yet i dont freakin care wat the cheat is i beat the campain in all 4 difficulties in 4 days (with school included)

25 brute 05.02.08 at 1:24 pm

iv never done this cheat so will sum 1 freakin help me

26 brute 05.02.08 at 1:26 pm

and if people have cheats post them now freakin r tards

27 deathhunter861 05.03.08 at 1:54 pm

who the HECK needs frickin cheats

28 BIGM 05.10.08 at 7:01 pm

THESE CHEATS WORKED FOR ME…. It was awesome!!

29 BIGM 05.10.08 at 7:01 pm

i already beat the game tho with no cheats!!!!!!! WOOT

30 BIGM 05.10.08 at 7:02 pm

jk the cheats don’t work…..

31 BIGM 05.10.08 at 7:03 pm

but ya cheats are fun, but try to beat the ame without them, or is it too hard for u?!?! hehe

32 paintballer84 05.27.08 at 1:43 pm

The few that believe in using cheatcodes are cheap a holes who have no LIFE!!!!!!!!

33 SARGEANT 06.08.08 at 9:31 pm

I’ve already beaten the game 50 frickin times but I want to see if I can beat my record time with cheats included.

34 Sam 06.25.08 at 10:17 pm

You have some excellent cheats and cracks here, kudos on a great blog. I have just started my own, I am an avid gammer and would like to give back, so I am starting a game cheats blog, if you get a chance please visit and give me your feedback: http://www.gamecheatslive.net I have just started it up so I do not have tons of content up yet, but I will get everything up asap.

Thanks,
Sam

35 Zenith 93 10.08.08 at 4:02 pm

hey blackdragon i bet i could own u in Halo 3. A system is way easier to beat than a real person!!!

36 Zenith 93 10.08.08 at 4:07 pm

hey deathhunter, i bet i could own u in Halo 3. A system is way easier to beat than a real person! u 2 BIGM! The only cheat I need (if I did need them) would be one that unlocked all the armor! U PEOPLE SUCK IF U NEED INVINCIBILITY!!!

37 D21 10.29.08 at 7:43 pm

Where do you put in the GODMODE code on Halo3?

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