Business

Rick Segal’s Advice at Startup Empire

by Joey deVilla on November 14, 2008

rick_segal

“Never ever take the title of CEO,” said Rick Segal between speakers at yesterday’s Startup Empire conference. “We fire CEOs all the time. Be a founder instead.”

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howard_lindzon

startup_empireLater on in the afternoon at yesterday’s Startup Empire conference, Howard Lindzon took the stage. Howard manages a hedge fund and is the creator of the finance news humour site Wallstrip, which he sold to CBS in May 2007. He also has a very popular financial blog at HowardLindzon.com.

I shot some video asking Howard about his idea of “social leverage”; I’ll post it a litter later on. In the meantime, here are my notes from his presentation, Why Now is a Great Time to Start Your Startup.

The Current Situation

  • Capital, which was so plentiful, is now gone
  • Reminiscent of the real estate bubble in Phoenix (where I live half the time)
  • Really important right now to shut out the noise
  • From 2002 – 2006, it was fun to read Valleywag, TechCrunch and make "me too" products. You can’t do that anymore
  • It’s also a bad time to base products on:
  • Sometimes you have to shelf your ideas for when the times are more suitable for them
  • The headlines are all doom and gloom these days:
    • "Financial Ice Age" – BusinessWeek
    • Startup Depression – Calacanis (I’m not a fan)
  • You must remember that even during good times, 80 to 90% of businesses fail
  • The VC model isn’t broken

Social Leverage

  • Financial leverage has come home to roost
  • We’re in a period of deleveraging: there is no bottom, because we don’t know what everyone owns
  • P/E ratios — it’s all about expectation, people expect less
  • You can’t get what you got six months ago
  • Expectations are in "this ratchet-down mode"
  • I also think that "we’re going into a depression" is crazy talk
  • I’m anti-financial leverage
  • Social leverage is all-powerful
    • Nothing you do in social leverage will haunt you
    • It’s a gift from the likes of Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter
    • Perhaps you shouldn’t start building social leverage with a blog unless your passion is for writing
    • Start small: work with people
    • Be mindful of the etiquette of social networking tools
    • The time to ask people for something is when they’re least expecting it

Too Small to Fail

  • Wall Street was all about "too big to fail"
  • I’m not seeing signs from the presidents about being small – they seem too concerned with conglomerations and unwilling to bust up things
  • Bailouts just prolong the process
  • This is not a headline, it’s a state of being
  • It’s a great time to start a web-based business
  • If you’ve ever played the board game “Risk”, you know:
    • If you’re starting all your armies in Europe, you’re screwed
    • Start off in New Guinea
  • Consider one of my projects, Stocktwits.com
    • I like to stay in businesses I know
    • Started in Twitter — thought it was dumb in the beginning
    • Guys, this should be about ideas
    • Wrote post about how there should be a message board for stocks using the reputation model in Twitter
    • Twitter allows you some sort of reputation — everything you say is there for people to see
    • Stocktwits — one employee, $30K to start
    • Twitter offers possibilities: dating, betting — supports an ecosytem
  • Be careful in whom you trust
  • Embrace social leverage
  • Be too small to fail: do the one thing you do very well
  • Take as little money as you need; things will get better
  • Ignore the people saying that this is “a new Ice Age” – they’re idiots

Fear

  • Zig while others zag
  • Take a look at this graph, in which the pink line is the Vicks index and the blue is RRSPs: 

    fear_zig_while_others_zag

  • From 2003 – 2005:
    • Fear level low
    • Calacanis’s company, TechCrunch and other stupid tech businesses wree founded when fear was low
  • It’s always a good time to start a web business
    • The truth is that it’s never a good time to start any business
    • Successful business can be started anytime
    • 80 – 90% of businesses fail anytime

Why businesses fail

  • It’s important to have structure right from the beginning
  • Mistakes made at start can come back to haunt you
  • Sometimes partners fight, so rules and agreements at made at the the start are valuable
  • The keys: Structure, funding and realistic valuation
  • When it comes to spreadsheets and plans, keep in mind that it’s important to do one thing, do it well and get that customer – this is far more important than the spreadsheets
  • Make sure you’re fishing where the fish are
    • “Swim near the shark”
    • Be around certain ecosystems

My Advice

  • Social leverage: good
  • Financial leverage: bad
  • Be an expert at something
    • For good or bad: mine is finance
    • "I don’t really like the people in my industry"
    • Applications of my expertise:
  • Investing: more art than science

      Q & A

      How do you balance your day?

      • StockTwits is the only thing I run
      • Knightsbridge pays me to be on the road
      • I’m usually up at 5am
      • Private equity: long hours, long weekends

      How do you make use of social leverage?

      • One example: Fred Wilson
      • Two months invested in reading his blog
      • I found out that Fred was a basketball fan and took him to a Phoenix Suns game
      • We talked business
      • Fred just happened to be friends with Jim Cramer
      • Through Fred, I  met everybody else — I counts it as my “real day 1 “
      • “You make your own luck”

      What are you looking for with companies?

      • I’m more of an angel and a scrapper
      • I want to to be early
      • I want to see a finished product
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      Austin Hill at Startup Empire: Slow Down and Speed Up

      by Joey deVilla on November 14, 2008

      austin_hill

      startup_empire The second presenter at yesterday’s Startup Empire conference was Austin Hill. Austin’s one of the founders of the Company Formerly Known as Zero-Knowledge Systems (they’re now Radialpoint), where he served as both Chief Technology Officer, Chief Strategy Officer and Executive Vice President. He’s the co-founder of Montreal-based tech startups Akoha, where he serves as CEO and Standout Jobs, where he is Chairman. Austin’s blog is Billions with Zero Knowledge.

      Here are my notes from his presentation, Slow Down and Speed Up: Handling a Fast-Moving Startup in Turbulent Times.

      Reality Check

      • It’s time for a reality check
      • The general attitude: things are bad out there — there’s a lot of fear
      • Summed up in Sequoia’s presentation, R.I.P. Good Times
      • The collapses of companies are mirrored by collapses of infrastructure in the U.S. (shows picture of bridge in Minnesota)
      • The reality: There is a very rough recession out there

      Business Models

      • Mary Meeker’s take: advertising is get killed, and the upcoming downturn will be worse than the last one
      • I don’t believe advertising is a business model
      • A business model is something that answers the "How can I get customers no one else will get?"
      • Advertising is just a way to get revenue
      • Look at the tech blogs: you’ll see lots of stories on firings and layoffs
      • Blogs like TechCrunch are becoming "Fucked Company 2.0"
      • Most of the companies laying off people have a burn rate of $10,000 per employee per month
      • Companies like Mahalo had a burn rate was $600,000 a month — in many cases, without a business model
      • This is not the model Canada exists in
      • You hear stories saying that the VC model being broken; the truth is that it’s been broken for years
      • The IPO market has been closed for tech since the last downturn
      • The VC model will only get worse, especially in the US — the economics do not hold up
      • "In a tornado, even pigs get to fly"
      • The guys who weren’t serious and didn’t provide real value will start going home
      • Everyone in US is playing "lemming meets ostrich"
      • The myth of tech startups went like this:
        • You have a great idea
        • People throw money at you
        • You flip the company
      • Can’t do that any more
      • Top-tier VCs and investors are looking at these times as an opportunity to create real value

      Canada

      • In Canada, we’ve already washed out the hosers and posers
      • VCs in Canada have funds ranging from $5 to $150 million
      • They’re well-sized and can pay off their entire VC with one fund
      • The remaining funds are solid
      • US VC funds got a reprieve
      • Here in Canada, our entrepreneurs know how to operate lean
      • Back in 1996, my ISP’s customers were estimated to cost $1000 per year
        • Held strategy meeting to find out how to turn away customers — couldn’t afford infrastructure to maintain the customer base
        • Sold the company for less than 1x revenue
        • Company we sold to went on crazy ride: for a $35K investment, they got a $13 million return
      • 2001: Zero-Knowledge
        • Fortunate to raise money at the end
        • $2.5m revenue, but expenses like mad
        • A "crazy, crazy structure"
        • We survived it very well — went back and bought out VCs and sold a minority stake to a large private equity fund — all in the middle of the worst downturn
        • How did we do it? We cut expenses, but cozied up to a few key customers whom the big vendors ignored: Telus and Bell Canada, who’d been dumped by Symantec and McAfee
        • If you can get in good with key customers, they’ll feed you good requirements

      Self-Assessment Test

      • The title of this presentation, Speed Up and Slow Down, is about self-assessment
      • Runway: How much cash do you have?
      • If you’re 2 or 3 people, you can be "Ramen Noodle Profitable" — a handful of founders, mostly programmers, can be profitable this way
      • If you’re a larger company:
        • Know exactly where youre going
        • Be efficient
        • Watch the gauges
        • Don’t go on "sightseeing trips"
      • You need to have a cash flow model and be able to answer the question "What is the minimum amount of cash to take us to the next risk reduction milestone?"
      • You need paying customers
      • If you’re running any type of decent burn rate, your #1 job is to not hit the wall
      • Watch the gauges:
        • How much cash do I have?
        • Are we accomplishing what we’re committed to doing?
      • Keep an eye on the end game too
        • Some businesses may pay you but not scale
        • Think about what the market will look like in 3 – 5 years
        • Can you get a defendable customer acquisition strategy that will be profitable?
      • Think of the company as a motor vehicle:
        • How far will our gas take us?
        • Many people come to me presenting companies based on a "rickshaw" model — a good "lifestyle business", which pays the bills, supports them and their families, but really isn’t set to grow and not really a VC candidate
        • Can’t go with a "Tesla" concept car model for your company either
        • Nor a "Hummer" model where it’s all brute force
        • Go with the "Prius" model for your company: practical, goes easy on the gas
        • The most dangerous model for your company: the "Submersible RV":
          • The car that tries to do everything but as a result accomplishes nothing
          • It show that you don’t know what you are
          • You need to be able to answer the questions:
            • "What kind of company are we running?"
            • "Is it the right size and structure for where we want to go?"

      Where are You Going?

      • Need to paint a picture of what your business will look like in 3 – 6 years
      • This picture needs to be based on the market, not your feature set
      • "You’re pitching a product, not a company!"
      • There are big trends and shifts occurring:
        • Cloud computing
        • Environmentalism
        • Social software
        • Time spent online
      • There are huge demographics that don’t go away just because Wall Street had a hiccup
      • Store metaphor: your business can’t be like a convenience store or bodega — investors don’t go for that
      • Your business has to follow the model of either:
        • The Apple Store: a profitable niche
        • Walmart: a big box
      • Learn to pitch!
        • I’ve seen CEOs who couldn’t pitch their way out of a paper bag
        • Practice your pitch and get good coaching
        • 95% of Canada sucks pitching
        • In the Valley, you see people working on their pitches and honing them
        • You have to get across the idea of why your biz is viable
        • When you step into an investor’s room, make sure you’re ready
        • There are lots of people who can give you coaching on your pitches
      • Analytics
        • You need to know your numbers
        • Go to SlideShare and look up "Pirate Metrics"
        • Go to Startonomics
        • You need to have a waterfall and cash model
        • You need to be able talk about your business in that flexible way: "With x money, we can do this, and with y money we can do this…"
        • Have a risk reduction model
          • You need to talk to investors and existing shareholders about this
          • If you’re in web properties, use Product Planner — it helps map out user flows
          • Shows what you should be tracking every step of the way
          • It’s a YouTube for user flows for the most successful companies
        • "Pirate Metrics": the mnemonic is "AARRR!":
          • Acquisiton
          • Activation
          • Referral
          • Revenue
          • Retention
        • Balsamiq
          • It’s a wireframing tool
          • When you talk to investors about what you will build, you need to be able to show wireframes and sitemaps
          • What part of your app drives acquisition? Investors need to be able to see this

      My Advice

      • Ask "Who is losing the most money? How can I help them?"
        • Cozy up to customers who have needs
        • Standout jobs saw this coming and made money helping HR companies feeling the pain of the current economic/job situation
      • Go talent shopping
        • People say "Fire, fire, fire!", I say "Topgrade!"
        • Ask yourself "Am I getting the best people?"
        • Watch the layoff rolls. We were doing this actively — I watched companies I admired and who were laying off people and talked to their HR departments
        • Build up a "bench" of good people, even if you’re not hiring now
        • Get good at outsourcing. There are a whole bunch of freelancers out there and you can make use of them if you can write small specs — but don’t do at expense of having a tech team
        • Use communities and open source to get leverage
      • Think very wide on your fundraising strategies: build your pitch so you have angels, advisors
      • Fire for culture, not expenses
      • Having "double vision" is critical: you need to have both an immediate and long-term view of your company. It’s like driving a car — you need to look at your dashboard instruments and down the road

      Why am I giddy like a schoolgirl?

      • It’s now a great time to build meaning
      • Over last 4 or 5 years, we’ve been building "hammers for carpenters"
      • Nerd tools like bookmarking, sharing video, vertical social networking: we can now use this stuff for real-world meaning
      • If you have a way to make real-world meaning rather than tools for technologists, you can do well

      Q&A

      What if you have great ideas, mediocre people and no VC contacts?

      • Go join a startup and gain experience
      • Ideas are a dime a dozen
      • I have never seen an idea so time-specific that I leapt on it — the quality of the people in the company are far more important

      How do people show that they an understanding of their market?

      • DO NOT QUOTE GARTNER REPORTS! It’s the surest sign you don’t know what you’re talking about
      • You need to be able to talk intelligently in a 10-minute conversation about your market
      • Most people fall down when it comes to talking about their competitors: "No! They don’t have this feature!" — your end customers don’t care about that
      • You need to be able to talk about:
        • Global trends and shifts
        • Unique ability
      • Come in with customer references — be able to say "We’ve done specs with x customers who’ve agreed to be beta users…"

      What are the red flags for hiring?

      • A lack of passion. Luckily, most programmers can’t fake passion
      • Note: sales and business development people can fake passion — it’s their job!
      • Can’t pass practical exams
        • When hiring a community manager, I gave him five days to answer a set of questions using community tools
      • Bad cultural fit
        • Don’t hire a 9-to-5er for a company that requires lots of dedication outside 9-to-5 hours
        • You can’t afford a culture clash right now
      • Someone who can’t talk about results
        • They need to be able to answer the question: "Can you hit these targets in 30 days, 60 days, 90 days?"
        • Great top performers love having specific requirements like that

      What is meaning?

      • Meaning always translates to money
        • Consider the meaning provided by Youtube: "Explore your world through someone else’s stupid videos"
        • They’re still working on how it’ll make money, but no one who invested in it feels bad
      • My preference is for companies that:
        • Provide entertainment or
        • Promote or assist energy conservation or
        • Have strong social goals

      Austin Hill / Rick Segal discussion

      • The rule about pitching is: "Hearts, minds, wallets". Hearts first!
      • The elevator pitch, where you don’t have very much time, is always about the heart
      • Answer a question and place that question in the person’s mind
      • Don’t talk features; talk about end results. Say "we had a beta customer who saved money and got their info organized thanks to our product/service"
      • The next step is to walk them through the revenue model.
        • An examples: Real-world asset sales for online game — player average revenue per user is in line with teen casual games
        • Used a reference to Webkinz, a point of reference that both customers and investors will understand
      • Need to be able to answer the "Where are you?" question: need to have a specific answer "60 days out of beta"
      • Believability is key when you pitch an investor
        • When you say unbelievable things like "We can do a 10x return", it means I have to retrain you
        • Say "Here’s what we know, here’s what we don’t know"

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      don_dodge

      startup_empire The first speaker at yesterday’s Startup Empire conference was Microsoft’s own Don Dodge, Director of Business Development for Microsoft’s Emerging Business Team and author of the blog Don Dodge on the Next Big Thing.

      Don’s been in the industry for over 20 years. He started with Digital’s database group and went on to work with five startups over the next dozen years: Forte Software, AltaVista, Napster, Bowstreet and Groove Networks. He now works with VCs and startups in my home away from home, the Greater Boston area.

      I got a video interview with Don about BizSpark that I’m currently encoding; in the meantime, here are my notes from his presentation, Starting a Company in Difficult Times.

      It’s a Good Time to Start a Company

      • In spite of the business news out there, it’s a good time to start a company – it’s a tough  time, but a good time
      • Markets are driven by two things:
        1. Fear
        2. Greed
      • Fear is rampant now
      • Even Microsoft is down 40%, Google down 60, maybe 70%
      • When fear takes over, markets get irrational
      • But remember:
        1. Fear is temporary
        2. Greed is permanent
      • Greed will eventually take over and markets will get better

      Why start a company now?

      1. People are the most important determinant of success
        • #1 hurdle is finding great people
        • When the economy is in a shambles, great people are available
        • During the AltaVista/Napster era, it was the boom times, and it was hard to find people
        • In bad times, companies entrench and do just the core things
        • The good people at companies get bored doing just the core things — it’s a hiring opportunity for you
        • Great people get bored during lulls
        • Startups are fun — they’re challenges, but people like challenges
        • Startups create tremendous value that allow great people to make a lot of money
      2. When the economy is bad, customers want to save money
        • If you have a product or service that will save them money, they’ll buy it
        • Tough times make customers willing to try new things if they believe they’ll make times less tough
        • You have to demo to customers how your product/service will save them money
        • Productivity boosts are not enough
        • Ask yourself: "Is your product or service a vitamin (a nice-to-have) or painkiller (a must-have)?"
      3. VCs are sitting on tons of cash right now
        • In Boston, 10 VC firms are sitting on $2.5 bn
      4. Infrastructure is cheap

      It’s Who You Know

      • In the recent past, in Silicon Valley and Boston, even marginal ideas got funding
      • Times are tougher now, and “me too” ideas will no longer get funding
      • Of the 200,000 companies that got VC funding since 2001; only 380 went public
      • That’s a small percentage of successes, but those 380 were enormous hits
      • Venture capital is like the music industry; it’s a hit-based business – just as one hit single or album can pay for dozens of so-so ones, so can one great investment
      • Ad-supported models will be questioned
      • Do the math to figure out what how many hits and what CPM you need to make a million dollars from advertising — it’s shocking, I tell you
      • Experienced people with great ideas will always get funding
      • Investors will fund people they know or ideas they understand
      • The difference between angels and VCs
        • Angels are easier to convince to invest in you:
          • If they know you or know people who vouch for you, or
          • If they understand the business and have an affinity for it
        • If they don’t know you, they’re more difficult to convince
        • VCs are easier to convince in you if your situation isn’t suited for angel investment — they take more risks and are more willing to “think outside the box”
      • Networking is incredibly important
      • In Silicon Valley, "we have events like this [Startup Empire] every week"
      • Investors get comfortable with people they see all the time
      • Take time to do some homework on the investors, know who they are and who they’ve invested in

      Infrastructure

      • Infrastructure is cheap
      • When we were starting Napster, it was the boom times
      • Finding people and getting office space were incredibly difficult
      • Our office’s landlord made us pay 2 years’ worth of rent up front in cash and also demanded stock options
      • In these recessionary times, the tables are turned
      • Several companies have renegotiated their leases — one has cut their lease down to one-quarter of the original
      • You can sublease spaces — many companies have leased too much space and are looking for people to fill it for peanuts
      • Office equipment: you can buy used

      BizSpark

      • Another way to save money: Microsoft’s BizSpark program
      • BizSpark provides software for startups, basically for free
      • Your startup is eligible to participate in the BizSpark program if:
        • Your startup is less than 3 years old
        • and makes less than $1 million per year
      • Program members get full-featured software:
        • Development tools like the full versions of Visual Studio and Expression
        • Platform tech like  Windows Server, SQL Server and Sharepoint
      • You’ll get visibility from being promoted on Microsoft Startup Zone
      • We’ll connect you with a united global community of support resources
      • It’s so easy to start a startup right now — everything is in your favour
      • Cloud computing make things cheaper — you can go with Amazon, Microsoft or other cloud providers
      • For more about BizSpark, contact David Crow, Mark Relph or Don Dodge

      Q&A

      Q: What’s the idea behind BizSpark?

      • Microsoft can’t succeed without lots of companies building on its platform and technologies, using its tools
      • We’re competing with open source
      • When startups are tiny and just getting started out, they take the easy route and go with free software
      • Why not level the playing field and make our software free for startups for the first three years or after they get $1 million in revenue?
      • So we give them free software, support and visibility

      Q: Is Microsoft’s cloud service available through BizSpark?

      • Yes. It’s not just the tools, but the cloud services are also available for free
      • More details on the site

      Q: Are there any particular types of applications that BizSpark is looking for?

      • BizSpark is open to any application
      • If you’re building an application that adds value or fills a gap, we want to talk to you
      • MS acquires about 20 companies a year
      • Those companies are generally filling gaps in our product line, doing things better than us or opening new markets
      • We partner, and if things go well, we acquire

      Q: Do we sign NDAs before going on BizSpark?

      • We don’t get into that
      • Don’t tell us your secrets
      • VCs are the same — most will not sign NDAs
      • In my experience as a VC, not a single NDA was invoked — they’re kind of pointless

      Q: Could you provide some examples of the types of companies you’ve acquired?

      • Powerset
      • Fast
      • aQuantive
      • Currently, the “hot spots” are advertising and online services, but our acquisitions are all over the map

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      Radiohead’s “In Rainbows” Experiment was a Success

      by Joey deVilla on October 16, 2008

      "My Little Pony" version of the cover for Radiohead's "In Rainbows" albumCNN/Fortune hated the idea so much that they listed it in their 101 Dumbest Moments in Business article. In 2007, Radiohead made their album In Rainbows available for download before physical copies were available in stores. You could choose to simply download the album or voluntary pay an amount of your choice. Radiohead didn’t reveal any statistics related to the download; the known data comes from comScore, who reported that:

      • 62% of the downloaders chose to pay nothing
      • The remaining 38% voluntarily paid an average of $6 for the album

      Based on these numbers and Radiohead’s silence, the CNN/Fortune article inlcuded the sneering line “Can’t wait for the follow-up album, In Debt.”

      The real cover of Radiohead's "In Rainbows" albumIt turns out that Radiohead’s experiment was actually a success. Techdirt points to a report on Music Ally that says that Radiohead’s publisher Warner Chappell will tell all about the In Rainbows experiment at the “You are in Control” music conference now taking place in Iceland.

      The “success” of which they speak isn’t the hand-wavy “artistic”, “critical” or “proving a point” kind, but the sort of success that bottom-line thinkers like: In Rainbows made more money before the the album was physically released than the total sales for the previous album, Hail to the Thief. Even when preceded by a free or “pay what you can” downloads, In Rainbows has still sold 1.75 million copies of the CD to date, and it’s still in the top 200 selling CDs in the U.S. and U.K..

      The Music Ally article has more details and includes these statistics:

      • After being made available online for free for 3 months, In Rainbows hit number one on both U.S. and U.K. charts.
      • 30,000 copies were sold on iTunes in its first week.
      • 1.75 million CDs of the album have been sold since its release.
      • 100,000 box sets have been sold through Radiohead’s sales and merchandising site, W.A.S.T.E..
      • 17 million plays on last.fm.
      • 1.2 million fans will see their tour.
      • The digital income from the experiment made a material difference to Warner Chappell Music’s UK digital revenue this year.

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      “Penny Arcade” on the Seinfeld/Gates Ads for Windows

      by Joey deVilla on September 15, 2008

      I like Penny Arcade‘s take on the current Seinfeld/Gates TV ads for Windows:

      "Penny Arcade" comic on the Seinfeld/Gates TV spots
      Click the comic to see it on its original page.

      My favourite line from the article accompanying the comic: “Trying to associate Microsoft with “fun” is like trying to associate Satan with aromatherapy.” Mind you, I think they managed to pull it off with the XBox 360.

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      Seinfeld and Celebrity Computer Endorsements [Updated]

      by Joey deVilla on August 21, 2008

      Updated!

      Hello, Boing Boing readers! (And thanks, Cory!) I’ve added a whole whack of new videos to this entry including John Cleese’s 1980s ads for Compaq, Tom Baker’s ads for Prime Computer, plus celebrity ads for Intel Centrino, Apple, Nintendo DS and more!

      What’s Up with That?

      By now, you’ve probably heard that Microsoft latest move to counter the incredibly popular “I’m a Mac / I’m a PC” ads was to hire Jerry Seinfeld as their new pitchman. The new campaign, which is rumored to be based on the slogan “Windows, Not Walls”, is expected to cost US$300 million — $10 million of which is earmarked for Seinfeld — is expected to debut on September 4th. As Jerry would say in his own stand-up routines: “What’s up with that?”

      Gawker sums it up best:

      Scene from "Seinfeld" showing the Mac in his apartmentYes, because if there’s one surefire way to convince everyone Vista is cool, cutting edge and not liable to get frazzled by life’s minor complications, it’s hiring a 1990s sitcom star and professional kvetcher! Who, um, very visibly owned a series of Macs on his show. This is Microsoft’s worst promotional concept since, well, since its last Vista campaign, the Mojave Experiment, which decisively proved that people hate Vista but will use it if they are tricked into thinking it’s something else, like a stable, functional tool. Here’s how Madison Avenue is responding:

      “They are not seen as cool,” says Robert Passikoff, president of Brand Keys, a New York branding firm. “Apple is cool. Can anyone even recall a Microsoft ad? No.”

      And they won’t be able to remember this one either, because using Seinfeld humor in ads was already considered tired three years ago.

      Microsoft’s hiring of a celebrity who peaked back in the 1990s is a perfect metaphor for a two of their biggest problems:

      • They’re hamstrung by the need to maintain backward compatibility with 1990s applications (Raymond Chen’s blog has the best stories about these issues).
      • They’re still using their 1990s approach to marketing: throwing a lot of money around.

      I expect that Microsoft’s ads will be the exact opposite of Apple’s: instead of two unknown (at least prior to the ads) guys against a plain white background, they’ll feature a celebrity against a glitzy background. Also unlike Apple’s ads, I suspect theirs won’t be all that effective.

      To borrow another Seinfeld line: “Good luck with all that.”

      Seinfeld in One of the Old “Think Different” Ads

      Mark Evans found this old Apple “Think Different” ad — one of those “Here’s to the crazy ones” ads with Richard Dreyfuss doing the voice-over — that features, of all people, a young Jerry Seinfeld.

      Seinfeld in an HP Ad

      In this HP ad, Seinfeld promotes not just one, but two flops: Windows Vista and Bee Movie:

      A Brief History of Celebrity Computer Endorsements

      Microsoft’s hire of Seinfeld led me to search for computer and videogame system ads featuring celebrities. Here’s what I found:

      Commodore: William Shatner

      In the original Star Trek series, Shatner’s character Captain James T. Kirk actually destroyed a number of computers just by talking to them. That’s why I always thought Shatner was an odd choice as Commodore’s pitchman. In the ad below, he’s promoting the Vic-20:

      Commodore Amiga: Tommy Lasorda, the Pointer Sisters, NASA Astronauts and Thomas “Tip” O’Neil

      This is probably the most celebrity-laden ad I’ve ever seen for a computer, the woefully under-appreciated Commodore Amiga:

      Bill Cosby: Texas Instruments TI 99/4

      Here’s Bill Cosby, who was the spokesperson for Texas Instrument’s incredibly lame TI 99/4:

      George Plimpton: Mattel Intellivision

      Bak in the early 1980s, we had the first console war: the Atari VCS (later renamed the Atari 2600) versus Mattel Intellivision. Atari had an unknown — a nerdy blond kid with big glasses — as their spokesperson. Mattel went with a celebrity: George Plimpton.

      While the Intellivision’s better graphics and sound made it a much better console for sports games, Atari had the far better gameplay, especially for arcade games. Star Strike, which Plimpton hawks in the video below, was far less fun than Asteroids, even if it featured “the total destruction of a planet”:

      Finally, here’s an Plimpton ad that gets downright creepy at the end. It features Henry Thomas (he played “Elliott” in E. T. and was a big star at the time), who’s about to make the classic “Oh, let’s get in the playground candyman’s van…he seems legit!” mistake…

      Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston: Windows 95 Training

      Although this isn’t an ad but a training video, it’s still got considerable late-’90s star power in the form of Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston from Friends. This features the painful line: “Taskbar? Is that like a Snickers bar?”

      Here’s part one:

      and here’s part two:

      Hewlett-Packard’s Ads

      And finally, celebrity ads for half-decent computers (I’ve generally had good experiences with HP machines, and not just the printers).

      Here’s Mark Cuban (good friend of my former employer, Tucows):

      Vera Wang also did an ad:

      Tennis star Serena Williams:

      Pop star Gwen Stefani, who should get bonus points for the use of the word “mash-up”:

      Jay-Z:

      and finally, Pharrell:

      John Cleese: Compaq

      Back in the early 1980s, Compaq was synonymous with “portable computer”. I remember being stunned that you could actually carry a computer around! I also remember being stunned that John Cleese was doing ads for them.

      Here’s Cleese asking the most important question about portable computers: “Does it have a handle?”

      “We don’t need a portable. We have Bruno”:

      This one’s an ad for the Compaq III that was only shown in the U.K.:

      This one targets “that trendy computer” — the original Macintosh. Guess which company is still around?

      In which he compares the Portable II to a fish:

      Forget about our earlier commercials about portable computers, we make desktops now!

      In case you’re not sure how to spell “Compaq”:

      “How could a computer be made from three hundred and eighty six chips and 32 bits from a bus?”

      The “Trust the well known name” ad is very Pythonesque:

      Here’s one for the Compaq DeskPro: “70 megabytes. 8 mega-hertz. Two hundred and eighty-six chips. Dual-mode monitor.”

      Here’s another one where he uses the “three hundred and eighty six chips and 32 bits of a bus” line:

      “The decision stank”:

      “I need a vaction!”

      “Three cheers for it!”

      Again with “three hundred and eighty six chips and 32 bits of a bus” gag:

      He wants 1 million pounds in ransom from IBM:

      This one plays on the old adage “Nobody ever got fired for buying IBM”:

      In this one, he’s talking about the new Compaq plant in Glasgow:

      And finally, an internal promo video for Compaq UK’s dealers:

      Intel Centrino: John Cleese, Tony Hawk and Seal

      It could be the opening line to a joke: “John Cleese, Tony Hawk and Seal walk into a commercial…”

      Prime Computer: Tom “Doctor Who” Baker

      Tom Baker played one of my favorite incarnations of Doctor Who; he also shilled for Prime Computer. Here he is with Lalla Ward, who played “Romana” on Doctor Who:

      Apple

      Here’s an old one for the Lisa (the predecessor to the Mac) featuring Kevin Costner:

      Apple’s had a few celebrities in recent ads. Here’s an “I’m a Mac / I’m a PC” one with Gisele Bundchen:

      This one features Judy Greer as the cute-but-unstable yoga instructor:

      I think HAL 9000 is enough of a celebrity to count, don’t you?

      Nintendo DS

      Why is Captain Picard Starfleet’s greatest strategist? Because of Nintendo brain training! Here’s Patrick Stewart and Julie Walters with a DS:

      Here’s Nicole Kidman keeping her brain sharp:

      Liv Tyler:

      America Ferrera:

      Olivia Newton-John:

      Carrie Underwood:

      Australian comedian Hamish Blake:

      Microsoft UK: Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant (The Office, the UK Version)

      Here’s a four-parter featuring Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant in their The Office characters starring in a Microsoft UK training video titled The Office Values:

      IBM: Avery Brooks

      We’ve had Kirk and Picard…why not Sisko? Here’s Avery Brooks’ ads for IBM. The “Where are the Flying Cars?” ad struck a chord with a number of friends:

      Here’s another one, “Epiphany”:

      And here’s one on Linux:

      Atari “XL” Series Computers

      In those “pre-internet” days, there were considerably fewer uses for computers. As a result, there semmed to be many more ads for the computer as an educational tool than today. Here’s Alan Alda talking about how his Atari XL computer is teaching him Italian:

      Here’s one demonstrating Typing Attack, a videogame that teaches touch typing. There were a number of apps like that back then:

      Here’s an ad featuring “Atari Writer”, Atari’s word processing package. You have to keep in mind that at this point in time, many people still used typewriters:

      IBM: The Cast of M*A*S*H

      Alan Alda didn’t just do ads for Atari, he also appeared in an IBM commercial, and so did some of his castmates from M*A*S*H. The video below features two ads: Jamie Farr is in the ad for the PS/2 series of computers, and Alan Alda, Harry Morgan and Gary Burghoff are in the ad for the AS/400 series.

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      Nine Startup Diseases and How to Cure Them

      by Joey deVilla on August 13, 2008

      "Game Over" screen from the '80s arcade game "Battlezone"

      Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment: my current job as Tech Project Manager at b5media marks the fourth startup for which I’ve worked; if you count Mackerel Interactive Multimedia — whose story, Burying the Fish, was written by Cory Doctorow for Wired but never published — I’ve worked at five. I like the “feel” of working at a startup, and now that I’ve got experience and real-world and blog-based reputations to back me up, startups are willing to pay me not only to be part of their team but to also be the “adult supervision”. At the ripe old age of 40, I’m an elder statesman in these parts (and playing an old man’s instrument only adds to that image).

      That’s why I read SitePoint’s article Nine Deadly Startup Diseases—and How to Cure Them with a sense of deja vu, going through each item in their list of mistakes and saying “yup, did that one…did that one too…”

      Put together, the startups for which I worked had all but one of the diseases listed in the article except for “Marketing Blind Spot”. For some reason, there was always a marketer in our midst, drumming it into our heads that marketing was necessary.

      I’ve taken their list of startup diseases and cures and summarized it in the table below. For full explanations behind each disease and cure, be sure to read the article.

      Startup Disease Cure
      Imaginary User Syndrome: Your product isn’t targeted at anyone in particular. Establish a small, defined set of users who could benefit from your product and tailor it to them.
      Frenetic Distraction Pox: Wasting time on non-essential tasks that don’t bring the business closer to break-even or profit. Focus!
      Wrong Hire Infection: You’ve hired people who can’t perform or who underperform. “The smart, brave solution in those cases is amputation. Let them go gently if you want, but let them go.”
      Implicit Promise Fever: You’re assuming that there are certain promises made between you and your co-founders, but you haven’t discussed them directly or put them in writing. “Have those discussions. Write the results down.”
      Stealth Product Delusion: You’re waiting way too long to show your product to users while honing it to perfection (or as close to perfect as you can get). Get people to look at it! They’ll have some criticism, but that feedback is going to be very valuable.
      Wrong Platform Fracture: The platform on which you’re developing (language, framework, technology) keeps getting in the way of development. Maybe you think you’ve gone too far to turn around and switch platforms. Switch platforms! ““We’ve walked this far already” isn’t a good enough reason to continue heading in that direction. Chances are, you’re much, much further from the completion of your product than you think.”
      Other Interest Disorder: Other interests are pulling at you; you’re either saying “but I’m still working on my startup” and “I’ll get back to my startup soon” or working on several startups at once. Pick the project you want to work on, and break cleanly from the others.
      Perfection Hallucination: You’re spending a large amount of time getting your prodcut to the point where it’s perfect, especially close to the end of the product development cycle. “Users are more forgiving of progress in the wrong direction than of a lack of progress. What you’ve built will never be perfect, but if it’s close enough your users will tell you how to improve it…Release early, release often.”
      Marketing Blind Spot: You’re not doing any marketing. Do some marketing! “Marketing doesn’t have to cost much, but if you don’t do enough of it, you’re setting yourself up for failure.”

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      How Not to Approach an Investor

      by Joey deVilla on June 21, 2008

      “After reviewing your public profile, blog, general google results, we’ve concluded that we can allow your firm the opportunity to review our company for investment.” Rick Segal (an investor in my company, b5media) tells a story that explains how not to approach an investor.

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      Zoli Erdos on Microsoft’s Web-Based Apps Debate

      by Joey deVilla on June 6, 2008

      Zoli Erdos says: “Eight years later web-based products still threaten to cannibalize Microsoft’s cash-cow, but they can no longer be ignored – largely because of Google and Zoho which now offer viable alternatives to users formerly ‘stuck’ with Microsoft’s products. A costly debate, indeed.”

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      Why Microsoft Will Never Win (Again)

      by Joey deVilla on June 6, 2008

      Mathew Ingram, after reading the Wall Street Journal’s article Gates-Ballmer Clash Shaped Microsoft’s Coming Handover, suggests that Microsoft killed their future for the present by killing NetDocs, their web-based office apps suite so as not to cannibalize their cash cow, Microsoft Office.

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      What Hath OLPC Wrought

      by Joey deVilla on June 6, 2008

      According to the Economist, “The $100 laptop has been a success—just not, so far, in the way its makers intended.” The success is that OLPC inspired the development of machines that are expected to be bigger successes, such as the Asus EEE PC and the Classmate.

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      The Moral Life of Cubicles

      by Joey deVilla on June 6, 2008

      The final lines of the article The Moral Life of Cubicles: “The cubicle revolution, in fact, was above all ideological. The clichés hurled at cubicles were woven into their sound-dampening fabric board from the beginning. Any discerning criticism of office life will have to take this moral history into account. Indeed, it is precisely the axioms of what makes for a good company and a good person buried within the cubicle that most need to be uncovered and held to critical attention.”

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      My First Brush with the Music Industry

      by Joey deVilla on May 27, 2008

      Clay Shirky: Gin, Television, and Social Surplus

      Gin and television

      If you’re a reader of the usual sites with links that nerds like, you’ve probably seen the video or read the writeup of Clay Shirky’s presentation at Web 2.0 on “Gin, Television, and Social Surplus”.

      In his presentation, he describes a conversation with a TV producer, in which he talked about the effort that people put into the “Pluto” entry in Wikipedia. The producer, hearing this story, rolled her eyes and asked “Where do they find the time?”

      Clay suggests that the producer believed that “free time”, which he refers to as “cognitive surplus” or “social surplus”, was TV’s by divine right. He posits that the mental energy once devoted to television watching and other equally passive ways of filling one’s spare time is being better spent — on the internet.

      (I’ve always found that saying someone has “too much time on their hands” is an intellectually dishonest way of dismissing someone: see my entry Too Much Spare Time? and Cory Doctorow’s essay, Too Much Time on His Hands.)

      If you haven’t seen the video of Clay’s presentation, here it is — it’s 16 minutes of your free time well spent:

      The TV producer reminded me of a record executive whom I encountered at my first job out of school. It’s an interesting story about programming work and technology in the mid-90′s, the music industry and how predictions about technology can be way, way off.

      My First Job Out of School

      Main screen of the 1991 \"Mackerel Stack\"
      A screenshot from the 1991 version of the Mackerel Stack, a HyperCard stack the promoted Mackerel’s design work.

      My first job fresh from getting my computer science degree at Crazy Go Nuts University was developing multimedia applications in Director at a little company called Mackerel Interactive Multimedia.

      The year was 1995, when Myst still defined the cutting edge of multimedia, CD-ROMs and sound cards were still fairly novel peripherals and the only other opportunities for a wet-behind-the ears developer seemed to be at a bank or insurance company, neither of which seemed to be appealing. While the pay wasn’t great — I used to call us the “hos of technology” and did a Full Metal Jacket-esque routine that ended with me shouting “Me so geeky! Clicky-clicky! Me hack for long time!” — the place wasn’t soul-killing like a bank or insurance company might have been. I could wear whatever I wanted, I could dress up my office space however I pleased, the hours were flexible and the co-workers were great: a hip and cool set of young people, with a near 50:50 gender balance. It seemed like Douglas Coupland’s Microserfs, which had just been published at that time, right down to the ill-advised office romances (one of which was mine).

      While the dream at the company was to write the next Myst, we paid the bills by writing multimedia apps for clients — typically interactive advertising or educational pieces that would eventually be distributed on CDs or even multiple floppies.

      The company went under after a disastrous merger in 1997. Its story was covered by Cory Doctorow wrote an article for Wired about the Mackerel’s demise; unfortunately, it never got published in the magazine. The Mackerel story is told from a different angle by co-founders Dave Groff and Kevin Steele at the Smackerel site, which is subtitled A Biased History of Interactive Media.

      Enter the Record Exec

      All-female band
      One of the bands represented by the record exec’s company. You can try to guess who they are, and you should be able to figure out the record company as well.

      One day during the summer of 1996, one of the founders came into the area where the developers hung out and told us that we’d landed a contract with an independent record label belonging to a major record company.

      “Isn’t that a contradiction in terms?” I asked.

      Apparently it wasn’t. The indy label turned out to be merely a new branch of the major record company. It would sign up-and-coming underground and alternative acts and use the major label for distribution. If the major label was pin-striped and buttoned-down, the indy label was its edgier nephew, clad in faux Hot Topic-esque cred. In spite of their trying-too-hard-to-be-cool aspects, we thought they’d make an interesting client.

      The record company exec was a woman who was about five years past their twenty-something demographic. She gave off more of a business school vibe than a rock vibe. She peppered her speech with business-school-isms like “target audience” and “units sold”. She used the word “product” several times and didn’t use the word “music” or even “album” once. Everything she knew about music didn’t come from being a fan; it came from what she’d read in her market research reports.

      “That’s why they don’t call it show art,” one of us quipped.

      The Brainstorming Session

      CD player app from Apple System 7
      The CD player application from System 7, the version of Mac OS from 1996.

      One of the goals of this initial meeting was to brainstorm some ideas for interactive apps that we could build for them. I had been working on an idea that I was rather proud of: CD player apps customized for specific albums. For any CD other than the one for which it was customized, it would show a mostly plain interface, plus some promos for the album. However, if you used the player to play the album for which it was customized, it would “come alive” with lyrics, liner notes, album art and so on. It was an attempt to bring back what was lost in the move from LPs to CDs.

      “Nice try, kid,” said the exec with great disdain. “We did some market research and we’ve determined that no one will ever listen to music on their computer. People see them as machines for getting work done. We’re aiming for the rec room, the den, the living room and the bedroom, not the home office. You computer guys are aiming for home office.”

      “You sure about that?” our production manager asked. “We all use the CD players on our machines. For some of us, our computers are in our bedrooms and living rooms, and they’re also our primary stereos now.”

      “That may be true for you,” she replied, “but you guys are the exception. Computers are great, but they’re office equipment. You don’t keep a typewriter or photocopier in your living room, so why would you have a computer there? And that’s where people listen to their music. Office equipment and entertainment: apples and oranges. Trust me – I’ve been in the music industry for a while – no one’s going to listen to music on their computer.

      I listened as a few other people had their ideas shot down in similar fashion. It was a matter of her knowing the music industry better than we did.

      The Hail Mary MP3 Play

      At some point during the increasingly futile brainstorming session, I remembered something that I’d brought back from the Macromedia User Conference. I reached into my laptop bag and fished out a floppy disc.

      Set of three 3.5\" floppy disks

      “Here, check this out,” I said, slotting the diskette into my laptop. “It’s something called Shockwave, which lets you embed multimedia applications inside web pages.”

      We don’t think there will be much interest in the world wide web outside of technical people. The pictures are tiny, you’re stuck with default fonts, and your customers have to go buy a modem. Too much tech hassle, too little payoff.”

      “You should give this a look,” I insisted. “The company that makes the tool we use to write multimedia software is using MPEG layer 3 [the term "MP3" hadn't made common parlance yet] compression to squeeze music files into less space. There’s a small multimedia program on this floppy, and a whole three-minute song. It would normally take about 8 floppies to hold this song.”

      I put the disk in my laptop and launched the Shockwave application, which started a tune playing.

      “Sounds like crap,” she said. “And who’s the band? The Spin Doctors? They’re so over.”

      “Ignore the band,” I said, trying to remain patient. “Just think of the possibilities. This three-minute single is only a megabyte in size. It fits on a floppy, which you can hand out, or you’d be able to download it in a reasonable amount of time. The download will be even faster on the new 56K modems.”

      “Blah, blah, blah,” she said, making that opening-and-closing hand gesture signifying pointless chatter. “It only means something to you because you’re a techie. I’ve seen the market research, and I will tell you now: people are not going to be getting their entertainment from computers or the internet. It’s going to come from set-top boxes and MiniDisc recharging stations at their record stores.

      At this point, I decided that discretion was the better part of valour. “Well, you seem to have all the market research, so maybe the best thing would be for you to come up with ideas for an interactive application, and then we can hammer out the details with you in a later meeting.”

      “I think that would be a good idea,” she said. She rose from her seat to leave the room, shaking her head.

      “I don’t know about you,” I said to the others after confirming that she was out of earshot, “but I think the music industry needs to be destroyed.”

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      The Real Threat to Google

      by Joey deVilla on April 28, 2008

      According to a BusinessWeek article, the real threat to Google isn’t Microsoft or Yahoo!, but cell phones:. “As more people use cell phones and their tiny glass screens to gain access to the Internet, Google and its fellow online advertisers will have less space, or what’s called ad inventory, to place marketing messages for customers. Google makes money selling ad inventory. And its ad inventory is diminished on a cell phone.”

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