At last week’s Big Omaha conference, I wanted to boost Shopify’s presence there, in spite of the fact that we weren’t sponsors. In exchange for big money, sponsors get to have their logos plastered on all sorts of things, they get name-checked by the MC and theirs are the names that you often remember after the last attendee staggers out of the last after-party.

Not everyone can be a sponsor: in some cases, you don’t have the money or have other, higher-priority things that you want to spend it on, and in other cases, you have the money and want to sponsor, but you’ve missed the deadline and the conference’s sponsor rolls are full. My own case was a little bit of both, and I decided to come up with an inexpensive way to leave a sponsor-like impact at Big Omaha — aside from playing the accordion, of course. Feel free to borrow this trick from me — and let me know how it works!

I started with the usual Shopify promotional swag. I keep a stash of Shopify stickers, coasters and bottle openers. These are, for the purposes of this exercise, free.

I created a one-page flyer that said “Hello from Shopify!”, introduced me as the Platform Evangelist and announced my presence at the conference. The flyer also provides some useful information for attendees: a quick list of tips on how to “work the room”. Finally, it presented an offer to all attendees and their friends: three months of Shopify free if you sign up for a shop at shopify.com/joeysentme, an URL which I’d had set up earlier.

I printed and made 200 copies of the flyer at the FedEx Office near me. If you’d like a copy of the flyer, click here (it’s a 218KB zipped PDF file)! The cost of printing and copying came out to about $25.

Next purchase: 150 paper lunch sacks. I was staying in downtown Omaha an uncertain how close the nearest grocery store would be, so I picked them up at a grocery store close to home and along with the swag and flyers, packed them with my luggage. The total cost for 150 bags was $7.

Final purchase: chocolate! I had a word with the people at my hotel’s front desk during the afternoon lull and got them to give me a lift in the courtesy van to the nearest Walgreen’s where I bought $60 worth of Dove chocolates — the little ones wrapped in foil that come in bags. They’re usually available on special, so I was really able to stretch my dollar on this one, and the courtesy van ride — to the drugstore and back (the driver waited while I quickly made my purchase) — was free.

I spent an hour and a quarter assembling the loot bags in my hotel room the day before the conference. I folded the flyers first. Then I popped open the bags and sat them upright in rows, after which I stuffed them with the flyers, swag and about 4- 8 chocolates each.

I attended the evening party, after which I returned to the hotel around midnight and asked the front desk for a ride to the conference venue in the courtesy van  in the morning, as well as whatever large boxes they could spare (to carry the loot bags). They were happy to help out. (The trick is to make your special requests during lulls — they’re not being deluged with calls for help from other guests and are probably bored and looking for something to break up the monotony.)

In the morning, I found that some other guest who hadn’t reserved the van but needed a last-minute ride to the airport or else he’d miss his flight had commandeered it. After explaining that I couldn’t carry several boxes of loot bags to the conference without a vehicle, the general manager decided to give me a ride in his own car.

“It’s a little unusual,” he said. “D’you mind if there’s no doors?”

“Sounds like fun. What kind of car do you have?”

“Wait,” he said, and moments later, appeared in this beast:

So this is how I came to Big Omaha: large, in charge, and bearing 150 loot bags.

I dragged the boxes in and positioned myself in a spot where people were making their way to their seats and handed out the loot bags.

It made an impact on at least one person:

So there you have it: all the reach of a sponsor swag table or big logo on a wall, complete with whatever message you want to send, for about a hundred bucks. As I said earlier, feel free to borrow this little conference trick, and tell me how it works out for you!

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Nokia’s Hail Mary

One of the stories in the current issue of Wired is Nokia’s Last Stand: Can the 147-Year-Old Company Design Its Way Back?

With a former Microsoft exec at the helm (and their first non-Finn, a very unusual move for a company that could function as an embassy of Finnish culture) and a partnership with Microsoft that includes boatloads of funding, going with Windows Phone as their flagship OS is a “bet the farm” approach. Windows Phone and Nokia remind me of Laurence Fishburne’s and Stephen Baldwin’s characters from the 1996 film Fled, in which they escape from jail while shackled together, with the notable difference that I’d bet on the film’s characters meeting a happy ending.

“Dev City Kid”, a.k.a. The Nokia Lumia Rap

What happens when you take Tyga’s Rack City and change the lyrics so that they’re about Nokia Lumia 900 phones (“Nine hunnids”), Windows Phone, the Metro interface and a lot of wishful thinking (“Steve Ballma loves me / You know how it is” and “Hacking code on them apps and I’m getting cheques”)? This.

Other Mobile Dev News

  • Intel-based Windows 8 tablets are expected to hit retail stores in November. Windows Phone came out about three years after the iPhone; Windows 8 tablets are shortening that gap to about two and a half. Some of the tablets will be iPad-style, while others will be “hybrids” — tablets that can transform into laptops. They won’t be hampered by the half-assed way that the telcos have been selling Windows Phones, but will vendors like Best Buy give them the push they need?
  • LinkedIn releases its Windows Phone app. If you’re a Windows Phone developer, you should get this app, go over it with a fine-toothed comb and treat it as an object lesson in how to make great use of the Metro UI.
  • The new 15″ MacBook Pro looks pretty intriguing. I know that all the cool developers are switching to the Air, but I like being able to go up to 8GB RAM (useful for audio/video editing), playing games (it has a better graphics card than the Air) and I walk around with an accordion, meaning that laptop weight isn’t as big a deal to me.

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This is My Ringtone

by Joey deVilla on May 14, 2012

How’d I miss this little audio gem from last year? I just might have to make this my new ringtone.

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At least 60% of iOS developers don’t even break even. That’s what the results from a survey taken by App Promo suggest, along with other observations shown in the infographic above. You can get the full survey in a free report titled The Necessity of Mobile App Marketing.

Here’s how an Israeli mobile developer sees the mobile world. Here’s Yosi Taguri chatting with Robert Scoble about iOS vs. Android vs. Windows Phone. The short version: iOS and Android are here to stay, and the others are circling the drain. The interview was recorded with an iPhone, of course, and you can use the player below to listen to it:

Mobile first, web maybe. Dylan Higgins, CEO of Kopo Kopo, talks about how Instagram, acquired recently by Facebook for a stunning 1 billion dollars, never had a web strategy and how it related to Kenya’s “mobile first, web maybe” model.

Mobile devices account for 10% of web traffic worldwide. According to StatCounter, about 8% of all US web traffic comes from mobile devices (phones, tablets and the like). That percentage is even higher elsewhere: 15% in Africa, and 18% in Asia.

Three-quarters of smartphone owners use location-based services. Pew Internet’s latest reports say that this is quite a jump up from a year ago, when it was 55%.

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Get Shopify Free for 90 Days With This Little Trick

by Joey deVilla on May 11, 2012

If you’ve been thinking about selling stuff online and looking for the right ecommerce software, consider this offer. Shopify, the easiest to use hosted ecommerce software, can be yours for free for the first 90 days (as opposed the to usual 30) if you register for Shopify at this URL:

http://shopify.ca/joeysentme

It looks like the standard Shopify page, but under the hood, it’ll add an extra note to your account that says “Joey sent them, so triple their free trial period!”

You don’t have to do much to get started — at the start, we want to just fill three fields:

Once again: if you want a Shopify shop that’s free for you to try for 90 days as opposed to the usual 30, head to this URL and register now:

http://shopify.ca/joeysentme

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Get Well Soon, RMS!

by Joey deVilla on May 10, 2012

Richard Stallman required medical attention while speaking at a conference in Barcelona earlier today. He was treated by paramedics and the conference has been suspended indefinitely, but he has been reported as having left the building under his own power.

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If you’re at Big Omaha, congratulations! It’s an in-demand conference and one where the “hallway conversations” — the meet-ups between speaker presentations — are of incredible value. Here are some tips on working the room from an expert on the subject: Susan RoAne, author of  How to Work a Room.

  • Be more of a host and less of a guest. Make introductions. Say “Hi” to wallflowers and invite them into your conversation. Make other people more comfortable. Help them when you can.
  • If you’re going to stay in the conversation, put down your stuff. Carrying your bag or coat during a conversation sends the signal that you’re about to leave.
  • If you’re in a conversation with just one other person, don’t “hotbox” them. Hotboxing is when you square your shoulders front and center to them, and it excludes others from joining.
  • If you’re in a conversation with more than two people, don’t form a huddle. Huddling feels safe, but it’s also antisocial. Try to keep part of your conversation circle open so that others can join.
  • Share your core competency. It’s a perfect segue from the “So what do you do?” question, adds substance to the conversation and establishes your personal marque or brand.
  • Learn. That’s at least part of why you’re at Big Omaha and it’s a great way to get into conversations. Here’s a little mental trick: try to learn 3 new things while you’re here.
  • Eat lunch last. There’s a long lunch break…and a long lunch line. Use the first part of lunch, when the line’s long, to talk to others, then get your lunch once the line’s died down. You’ll still have plenty of time to eat. (Thanks to Megan Hunt, a.k.a. “Princess Lasertron” or @lasertron for this one!)
  • Bring an accordion. Well, it works for me…
  • Smile! It’s contagious, and it starts conversations.

Also worth checking out is Megan “Princess Lasertron” Hunt’s guide to getting the most out of Big Omaha. Check it out!

Eva chimed in with this comment, and I think it was so important I’d add it to the article body:

And if someone joins your group, acknowledge them and don’t let them stand there, invisible, awkward, while you pretend not to see them and continue your conversation. I get this about 50% of the time at conferences, but mainly from people older than me. There’s less ageism in tech/startups than in science/academia, so might not be problem for you guys.

 

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RubyMotion’s Beautiful Installer

by Joey deVilla on May 10, 2012

If you’re comfortable programming in Ruby and develop (or want to develop) apps for iOS, you should give RubyMotion a try. Its creators came up with a nice way to sum it up: it’s “terminal-based workflow” that makes it easy for you to program iPhone and iPad apps in Ruby and build them with Rake. I’ve taken a couple of their starter apps for a spin, and the feeling I got was not unlike that first time I took Ruby on Rails for a spin.

I’m going to write a whole bunch of articles based on my experiences with RubyMotion here in Global Nerdy. I’m still doing my initial noodling, but I’ll write something up soon. In the meantime, I thought I’d post these screen captures from RubyMotion’s installer.

Many developer tools are content to go with a sparse installer or command-line recipe, but RubyMotion goes the extra mile and provides a beautiful installer. They didn’t have to do it; their target market is comfortable with installing and configuring development tools, but I appreciate the attention to detail and the effort.

Nicely done, RubyMotion! I’m looking forward to playing with you over the next few weeks.

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Scenes from BlackBerry World

by Joey deVilla on May 9, 2012

For the curious, here’s RIM CEO Thorsten Heins opening keynote for the recent BlackBerry World developer conference (which took place May 1 – 3 in Orlando). It’s interesting to see what RIM have up their sleeves for BlackBerry 10, but I’m still not convinced that they can be saved.

I rather like the “time travel” editing that you can do with photos.

While I may not be convinced, the Blackberry World attendees in the video below are:

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The car stereo I wanted 10 years ago (takes CDs, plays MP3s) vs. the car stereo I want today (a single aux jack)

Found via Reddit.

Okay, maybe a volume knob. And I’m also assuming that there’s Bluetooth as well.

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Heading to Big Omaha

by Joey deVilla on May 8, 2012

Big Omaha Logo

Starting late this afternoon Central Time, I’ll be reporting from Big Omaha, the startup conference that Philip “Pud” Kaplan has described as “SxSW before SxSW got insane” and waving the Shopify flag there. Keep an eye on this blog for my notes from the sessions, which are legendary!

Here’s a little deal that I’m authorized to share with Big Omaha attendees, but what the hey, I’ll share it here as well. If you sign up for Shopify at http://www.shopify.com/joeysentme, I’ll see to it that you get 90 days free instead of the regular 30. If you’ve been thinking about setting up a shop, you’ll want to get in on this deal!

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Half the consumers in the US have smartphones, and half of them are on Android

When it rains, it pours. Just hours after I published my article on the way-off predictions on how well Windows Phone would do and cited the comScore numbers for mobile OS market share, Nielsen releases their findings, which are pretty similar. According to their survey, 50.4% of US consumers have a smartphone, and of those people, 48.5% are using Android phones.

Unlike comScore, Nielsen treated Windows Mobile, the older mobile OS versions 6.5 and earlier, and Windows Phone, as two separate operating systems. comScore had both operating systems at 3.9% of the market; Nielsen says that Windows Mobile accounts for 4.1% and Windows Phone, Microsoft’s “comeback” mobile OS, has just 1.7%. If I were still a Windows Phone Champ today, I’d be at my local pub, pounding back the bourbon something fierce.

Pie Chart: Neilsen March 2012 Mobile OS Share

Nielsen took in all sorts of info in their survey of mobile phone use, including a by-race breakdown of who used mobile phones as their primary phone. I noticed that the Asian stereotype rings true in this case and couldn’t resist making an infographic featuring me back during my Microsoft Phone Champ days alongside my homie Stevie B:

And in case you were wondering: I’m Asian (the Thrilla from Manila!) and my mobile phone is my primary phone (Skype’s my secondary). Steve Ballmer is white.

For more, check out Neilsen’s article, which features their numbers along with a link to their full report.

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IDC’s Prediction: Almost 6% Market Share in 2011, 21% by 2015

Pie Chart: IDC's Prediction for the 2015 Mobile Market

Near the end of March 2011, IDC forecasted in their Worldwide Quarterly Mobile Phone Tracker report that by 2015, Windows Phone 7 would have leapfrogged past BlackBerry and iOS to claim the number two spot, with almost 21% market share:

Operating System Predicted 2011
Market Share
Predicted 2015
Market Share
Android 39.5% 45.4%
BlackBerry 14.9% 13.7%
iOS 15.7% 15.3%
Symbian 20.9% 0.2%
Windows Phone 7 and
Windows Mobile
5.5% 20.9%
Others 3.5% 4.6%

 

They wrote:

Nokia’s recent announcement to shift from Symbian to Windows Phone will have significant implications for the smartphone market going forward. “Up until the launch of Windows Phone 7 last year, Microsoft has steadily lost market share while other operating systems have brought forth new and appealing experiences,” added Llamas. “The new alliance brings together Nokia’s hardware capabilities and Windows Phone’s differentiated platform. We expect the first devices to launch in 2012. By 2015, IDC expects Windows Phone to be number 2 operating system worldwide behind Android.”

Gartner’s Prediction: Almost 6% in 2011, 11% in 2012, 20% by 2015

A few days later, Gartner published a press release making a similar prediction: Windows Phone would claim about a fifth of the smartphone market by the end of 2015. Here’s their breakdown:

Operating System Predicted 2011
Market Share
Predicted 2012
Market Share
Predicted 2015
Market Share
Android 38.5% 49.2% 48.8%
BlackBerry 13.4% 12.6% 11.1%
iOS 19.4% 18.9% 17.2%
Symbian 19.2% 5.2% 0.1%
Windows Phone 7 and Windows Mobile 5.6% 10.8% 19.5%
Others 3.9% 3.4% 3.3%

 

They wrote:

Gartner predicts that Nokia will push Windows Phone well into the mid-tier of its portfolio by the end of 2012, driving the platform to be the third largest in the worldwide ranking by 2013. Gartner has revised its forecast of Windows Phone’s market share upward, solely by virtue of Microsoft’s alliance with Nokia. Although this is an honorable performance it is considerably less than what Symbian had achieve in the past underlying the upward battle that Nokia has to face.

Pyramid Research’s Totally Crazy-Ass Prediction: Number One in Market Share by 2015, with Nearly 40%

On May 9th, 2011 — almost a year ago to the day — came the most unbelievable of the Windows Phone predictions. Pyramid Research announced that Windows Phone’s market share would edge past Android’s, with almost 40% of the smartphone market. Here’s the graph they published, with a vertical line I added to make it easier to read the current market share:

Graph: "OS Market Shares of Smartphones 2009 - 2015"

Here’s what they wrote (with additional emphasis by me):

Now, a couple of words about the “controversial” projection itself. While we acknowledge the momentum that Android is experiencing and will continue to experience in 2011 and 2012, we believe that Nokia and Microsoft are a very powerful tandem, and that will show in its full force by the end of 2013. Some of the main obstacles to the growth of WP to date will be removed, as Nokia helps with bringing down the price of WP smartphones. Lower price of the devices will be the crucial prerequisite for the expansion of WP models. Nokia knows it and Microsoft knows it, and I am sure they will act on it quickly. It’s also worth mentioning that, apart from Nokia, quite a few other large handsets vendors in the world, such as Samsung, LG and Sony Ericsson are still placing their bets on WP. With the change in the price of WP devices, and the multivendor strategic approach of Microsoft, the main advantage of Android – scale – may be removed.

And although Nokia has suffered a significant loss from dragging out the Symbian story for too long, it’s Nokia we are talking about: They are big enough and strong enough to take on a couple of painful hits and come out of the struggle stronger than ever. They are in a good position to learn and adjust because they know what was bad about Symbian, what’s creating gains and what’s causing problems for Android, as well as what the upsides and downsides of a system such as that of Apple, where the OS only runs on hardware manufactured by the vendor.

Don’t forget that while being late to the party is rude, everybody gets to see you enter the room. When Nokia “enters the room” with new WP-based devices, there will likely be much traction about its new “clothes and shoes,” which will be a good jump start for the new era of WP devices.

And Where are We Now?

IDC predicted that Windows Phone would have a 5.6% market share by the end of 2011. Gartner’s prediction was that Windows Phone would have nearly 11% of the phone market by the end of 2012. And from eyeballing Pyramid Research’s chart, Windows Phone’s market share should be about 27%.

Let’s now take a look at the latest comScore report, published on May 1st, 2012:

Operating System December 2011
Market Share
March 2012
Market Share
Android 47.3% 51.0%
BlackBerry 16.0% 12.3%
iOS 29.6% 30.7%
Symbian 1.4% 1.4%
Windows Phone 7 and Windows Mobile 4.7% 3.9%

 

Before I talk about the comScore numbers, I’d like to remind you that they need to be taken with a grain of salt.Be sure to read MG Siegler’s article about comScore’s and NPD’s numbers — while they suggest that “Android is winning”, there seems to be a lot wrong with their math when it comes to iOS’ and Android’s market shares. However, for the smaller players, it should be safe to assume that their numbers are closer to correct.

IDC’s, Gartner’s and Pyramid Research’s predictions seem to be quite near comScore’s numbers for how much market share BlackBerry’s OS would have in 2012.

When I was a Microsoft developer evangelist and one of Microsoft Canada’s Windows Phone Champs, I would’ve defined the first couple of years’ market shares predicted by Gartner — 6% by the end of 2011, 11% by the end of 2012 — as a “reasonably good” outcome, and I’d have called Windows Phone in a close tie with BlackBerry OS (with say, 15% of the market by 2012) as “awesome”. Were I still in that job today, I’d describe the current comScore numbers, and especially the drop to below 4% between December and March, as “distressing”.

Nokia Lumia and 700 and 900 phones

Tomi Ahonen, who probably knows more about Nokia than anyone outside the company, recently wrote (once again, the emphasis is mine):

Have you braced yourself for the shock? Lets do updated (downgraded) forecast for Nokia smartphone market share, average price and revenues for 2012. The quick version? Nokia’s current 8% market share in smartphones, that was 29% just over a year ago, will fall to 3% by year-end. Nokia’s smartphone unit will not return to profits and while the industry grows by over 50% this year, Nokia’s smartphone unit revenues will be cut almost in half.

If you want to consider Windows Phone as the so-called 3rd ecosystem (in reality no better than 5th or 6th), then as we just heard, LG is now not continuing Windows Phone production either, following Sony’s earlier pull-out of Windows Phone commitments, this ‘Third Ecosystem’ is proving a bigger farce every day. What can you add from the Samsung and HTC partners to the above Lumia numbers. Maybe half a million per quarter if we’re lucky, more likely half that number. So your Windows Phone new sales are pretty close to what you see here. Microsoft will end 2012 selling perhaps 19 million Nokia branded smartphones, if you toss in 2 or 3 million more by all other Windows Phone partners, even 22 million will not get you more than 3% global market share of new sales and Windows Phone ‘Third Ecosystem’ would end the year with under 2% of the installed base of all smartphones. Does this smell dead to you?

The class action lawsuit against Nokia by some of its shareholders isn’t helping things, either.

What It Means for You, the Mobile Developer

Green Hornet and Kato running away from an explosion

Simply put, it means the predictions are dead wrong — and in Pyramid Research’s case, delusional — and you’d best run away from this platform as quickly as your feet will take you. Unless there’s some massive change in Microsoft’s strategy — maybe there’ll be a Windows 8 miracle, but I wouldn’t bet on it — do not look back, just high-tail it out of there. There’s a lot of interesting stuff happening in the mobile world, but it ain’t happening in Windows Phone land.

Windows Phone’s market share remains stuck in the single digits nearly two years after its launch. It’s well below 10%, which in my opinion is the minimum market share for a smartphone OS to remain viable, and that’s assuming that the OS has some kind of edge that the others lack. Nokia, the flagship hardware partner, is circling the drain, and the others — Samsung, HTC, LG (and LG’s a bit iffy) — are hedging their bets with Android. And then there’s the retail angle: the iPhone has the Apple Stores as their best promoters and Android gets a lot of love from the telcos. For a brief shining moment, Nokia’s Lumia 900 Windows Phone was the best-selling phone at Amazon.com, but as of this writing, it’s in 15th place.

The Windows Phone has OS some great design ideas, and Nokia have put together the nicest Windows Phone hardware ever. Windows Phone is  probably the easiest mobile phone OS to build native apps for. As a guy who used to evangelize it to anyone and everyone (I still have the I [heart] Windows Phone sticker on my accordion), it’ll always be special to me. In spite of all that, I can’t recommend developing for Windows Phone unless you’ve got a customer who’s willing to pay big bucks for that development (and for more than a few developers, that customer is Microsoft).

In writing this, I was reminded of a conversation I had with one of the leads of the Windows Phone Champs team shortly after “Windows Phone 7 Series” was announced in March 2010. I asked what I thought was a pertinent question: “How do we counter when people say that Windows Phone is too little, too late?”

“Well, I think it’s a bit early in the game, and we shouldn’t worry about that right now,” he replied.

It was the right answer back then. Now, I don’t think there’s an answer anymore — especially since he left Microsoft to work at Amazon.

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Facebook iconIn the SFGate article titled 4 Companies That Facebook Should Buy, Thursday Bram talks about the the recent change in the way Facebook acquires companies. Until recently, they took the “Borg” approach: buy the company, dismantle it and add their engineering talent and add it to their own pool.

They changed this approach with Instagram, which they’re not dismantling, but letting it stay its own thing, rather like eBay does with PayPal, Google does with YouTube and Microsoft does with Skype. With Facebook having very firmly established itself as a platform and an IPO that looks to be raising $10 billion on the way, they may continue on this path in order to expand their reach.

Bram suggests that they would do well to buy these companies, one of whom is my employer:

  1. Skype: Facebook’s video chat is powered by Skype, but it’s unlikely that Microsoft will sell. They porbably need Skype as a way to boost Windows 8.
  2. LivingSocial: Facebook tried and failed with their own “deal” feature — it might be better for them to simply buy a service that already has brand recognition.
  3. Mixi: Social networking sites are regional creatures, and Facebook might have an easier time branching in Asia by simply buying successful Asian social networks like Mixi.
  4. Shopify: Bram suggests that since Shopify is a hosted service for standalone sites, this might be a talent acquisition. I think that there would be a way to do both: let people open both shops within Facebook and standalone shops, with Facebook showing featured products and being the gateway to the full shop, and Shopify utilizing the social graph, Facebook as a commenting system and Likes as a product recommendation engine.

As for the question as to whether Facebook should buy Shopify, my response is the pragmatic one: “Depends. What’s in it for me?”

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The Software Centipede

by Joey deVilla on April 25, 2012

Cover of the O'Reilly book "SharePoint Apps with LightSwitch"

My blood froze when I discovered the existence of the book SharePoint Apps with LightSwitch. I have nothing against the author, the book or the style in which it’s written; my revulsion has to do with the three technologies mentioned in the title and subtitle:

  • SharePoint: A collection of half-baked web-based tools designed by people who neither like nor “get” the web. However, purchase decision-makers at enterprises and government organizations eat it up, and it’s an unkillable cash cow at Microsoft.
  • Lightswitch: An attempt to bring back the spirit of the old Visual Basic – make the easy tasks easier and the hard tasks possible — but it’s aimed at the wrong market, does the wrong things and is likely to be yet another Microsoft tool to die from neglect (DLR languages like IronPython and IronRuby), product team turf wars (like LINQ) or the world passing it by (like Silverlight). Should probably be free, but sells for $300.
  • VB.NET: Take a nice language like C# and weigh it down with syntax that’s reminiscent of VB. It’s like saying “Hey, I want a little more Italian culture in my life. From now on, I’m doing using only Roman numerals!”

I’d hate to work on a project that used all three together. To me, it sounds like the software version of The Human Centipede.

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